CHUCK+NORRIS+FACTS

> **__|| || [|There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.] ||__** > **__|| || [|Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.] ||__** > **__|| || [|Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.] ||__** > **__|| || [|Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.] ||__** > **__|| || [|Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.] ||__** > **__|| || [|Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.] ||__** > **__|| || [|Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.] ||__**
 * [|**When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.**]
 * [|**There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.**]
 * [|**Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.**]
 * [|**There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.**]
 * [|**When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.**]
 * [|**Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost**]
 * [|**Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.**]
 * [|**Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.**]
 * [|**If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.**] ||